Cold hands, warm shart.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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