You really coming over, don't trick.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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