He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize