When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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