Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize