He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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