i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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