I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize