Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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