how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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