I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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