I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize