I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
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Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
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New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And then my night got REAL pukey
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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