I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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