ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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