It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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