Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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