direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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