Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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