So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
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My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
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If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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