Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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