Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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