he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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