i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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