i don't like sucking hair
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Found your dick twin last night
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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