girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
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We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
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These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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