Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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