i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
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In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
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To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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