Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.

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  (815): Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet. http://tfl.nu/agm0
  Replies (34) Good night (618) Bad night (3133) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.

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  (508): currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit. http://tfl.nu/vzj2
  Replies (12) Good night (5359) Bad night (882) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.

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  (401): What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy. http://tfl.nu/6xxv
  Replies (25) Good night (8264) Bad night (948) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..

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  (734): i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth.. http://tfl.nu/wfim
  Replies (17) Good night (3856) Bad night (1406) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.

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  (519): how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail. http://tfl.nu/ymgr
  Replies (7) Good night (733) Bad night (3316) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee

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  (231): We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee http://tfl.nu/m4t7
  Replies (33) Good night (1347) Bad night (4124) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights

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  (217): Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights http://tfl.nu/27p8
  Replies (21) Good night (2979) Bad night (2347) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.

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  (519): You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know. http://tfl.nu/dzr5
  Replies (15) Good night (6708) Bad night (934)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Now he's lighting his socks on fire

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  (920): Now he's lighting his socks on fire http://tfl.nu/p3kv
  Replies (9) Good night (2648) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.

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  (575): We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins. http://tfl.nu/gnps
  Replies (9) Good night (2499) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.

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  (631): My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did. http://tfl.nu/km7t
  Replies (3) Good night (1165) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind

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  (904): just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind http://tfl.nu/p8c9
  Replies (9) Good night (1451) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"

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  (651): I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you" http://tfl.nu/co0c
  Replies (3) Good night (1086) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...

  (303): View more from Colorado

  God works in mysterious ways my friend.

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  (720): Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday... (303): God works in mysterious ways my friend. http://tfl.nu/qprf
  Replies (6) Good night (1360) Bad night (399)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?

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  (512): Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night? http://tfl.nu/ccoz
  Replies (7) Good night (357) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt

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