He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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