Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
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