The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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