Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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