Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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