i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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