he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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