ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Dicks are not precious.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize