from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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