we're blogging at a bar
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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