i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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