Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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