Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
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i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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