you guys were way drunker than both of me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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