arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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