Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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