It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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