he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize