So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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