So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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