Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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